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To Pray or not to Pray?

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To Pray or not to Pray?

In this day and age, it seems everyone has some sort of health issue. You could spend days praying through the list of friends who need healing for something. We prioritize praying for “serious” things – cancer, car accidents, surgeries, broken bones, or anything that is a matter of life or death, and will result in a speculator testimony of God’s healing power. But we don’t even think to pray for minor illness like colds or things that can be easily cured with glasses, braces, hearing aids, etc. Sometimes we just pray for a surgery to go well, rather than healing so the person doesn’t need surgery.

When do you contend for healing or just accept it is the way it is? Obviously sickness, pain, and disease was not in God’s original design for us, but He can use all things for good.

We’ve had lots of people pray for Duane’s healing. Who wouldn’t want to see a guy grow ears? But to him, having prosthetic ears is no big deal. It’s part of who he is. Although it would be nice if he didn’t need a hearing aid or such expensive glasses.

10_15 rock - duane + becky 2When I first realized I liked Duane, I wrestled through the question: how do I feel about dating (and possibly marrying) a guy who doesn’t have cheek bones or ears? I realized everything I liked about him, from his confidence to his goofy personality, were shaped by what he had gone through. If he had been born with a “normal” face, he wouldn’t be the Duane who I know and love. From Duane’s perspective, he turned out fine, his Treacher-Collins is not that big of a deal. I almost feel bad for the people who do pray so hard for his ears to grow back, although I admire their faith and appreciate their courage in even asking what’s wrong and offering to pray for him.

01hannah1I grew up with a older sister who has Arthritis. Her situation was very different than Duane’s. She was in pain most of the time, and confined to a wheelchair in high-school. It seemed everyone was always praying for Hannah’s healing, and my Dad was constantly researching different “cures”. I grew up hearing over and over, “How is Hannah? We are praying for her.” That’s nice, but it felt like nothing was ever going to change. Until one day at youth group, when a friend said, “let pray for Hannah!” I had reached the point frustration with everyone’s obsession with praying for Hannah and nothing ever happened! None-the-less we prayed for her healing. Again. This time was different. She got up and walked! At 16 years old, she didn’t need her wheel chair anymore. Being able to walk totally changed her life.

We are praying for our little Lioness – that at our next ultrasound, the Doctor looks at her and says, “that’s weird, I really thought she had a narrow jaw, but everything looks great.” I want Lion to be able to breath and nurse. I want to hold her right away when she’s born and not have her whisked away or need to be resuscitated. I don’t want her to need a tracheotomy in order to breath, or a feeding tube, or any other surgeries. I don’t want to have to go to Portland to give birth, or have doctors try to pressure me to be induced or have a c-section – scheduling her birthday for the sake of convenience. That would make everything a lot more complicated as far as the reactions I’ve had to medications along with all the food allergies. While we’re at it, I would love to be healed, and be able to eat anything I want (even hospital food) without the possibility of dying.

After our little Lioness is born, if it looks like she’ll be needing various surgeries, yes, we’ll keep praying for her healing, but I don’t want to be so obsessed with praying for my daughter’s healing that she feels she’s not loved or accepted the way she is. Things like cheek bones and ears aren’t that big of a deal. She’ll just look like her Daddy. I also don’t want Monkey to grow up feeling like she’s less important than her sister, because everyone is so focused on praying for Lion to grow ears.

When do you contend for healing or just accept it is the way it is?

Becky is wife to Duane, mama to "Monkey-girl" and baby "Lioness" aka "PipSqueek." She is the administrative powerhouse for YWAM Bend and keeps our team grounded and organized. Her hope is to inspire and encourage other mamas in their journey to raise healthy, thriving families.
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  • Ty

    Rally love the honesty and vulnerability of this post. Very good questions raised as well. We are praying for the little one with you and hoping for a miracle. Love you guys.

  • Kathy and Andy

    What a beautiful word Becky. You are an inspired writer! We stand alongside you all holding your arms up as you battle these questions. Know you are loved. We wait for the results and pray for your answers to come. Live and resting in Him, Kathy and Andy

    • Becky

      Thanks! Love you guys!

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