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The Emotional Roller Coaster

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The Emotional Roller Coaster

After a long sleepless night, this morning was filled with the chaos of me getting released from the hospital – drs checking on me, and lots of paper work and packing up my room, pumping milk for the baby and trying to visit her. The baby is learning to use the “hammerman” bottle (that’s not really what it’s called). Basically we drip milk into her mouth and all she has to do is swallow.

It’s funny that during breakfast, Monkey was lounging on my bed asking, “more eggs please” and then opening her mouth for me to spoon feed my breakfast to her. I guess she wanted in on the Princess treatment. I rather enjoyed calling “servants” all hours of the night to refill my water, or take pumped milk to the baby.

By 2pm I was back at the Ronald McDonald House with Duane, Grandma, and Monkey. I noticed a half-eaten peanut butter granola bar on the counter, so I asked about it. Grandma said, “Monkey wanted it for her night night snack yesterday.” Monkey ate peanuts?!!! Duane looked at label “I thought it was chocolate banana.”

Grandma feels bad about giving her peanuts, because she’s not supposed try peanuts until she’s at least 3 years old. (Monkey has a high-risk of having a peanut allergy, because I’m so deathly allergic to them). I had a feeling something like this would happen someday, and am so thankful I wasn’t here to panic, and it’s great to know Monkey won’t die if she eats peanuts (but no one was observing if she had any sort of mild reaction). Just for the record, I’m still allergic to her eating peanuts, so peanuts are still banned from my house, and my family, because I want to live.

We put Monkey down for a nap, and then Duane & his mom went out for lunch (and to get a break from the toddler). Monkey freaked out and insisted I nap in the room with her, which was fine with me, because I felt like death warmed over and really needed a nap.

After an hour of listening to Monkey monologue, I was out cold. I only slept an hour and woke refreshed. Then I got out of bed and felt like death again.

It was almost 5pm, so I decided to wake Monkey so she goes to bed tonight. The pac-n-play was empty. Clearly she had escaped. I opened the door to our “living room” expecting to see her passed out on the floor or couch, instead I saw only a blankie on the floor. I knew she wasn’t strong enough to open the door to leave the room, so that meant only one thing: Monkey had been kidnapped out of my room! After a split second of panic, I realized evidence suggested that Grandma had returned the probably took her to the play room, so I could sleep. Duh! I checked the play room, it’s all good.

Then I remembered that medical supply was supposed to deliver my breast pump by 5pm, but I had knocked the hotel phone off the hook earlier. Then my cell phone rang, medical supply was on their way, be here in 20 mins. Awesome!

My phone rang again. It was American Pharmacy calling for Yolanda – I get these phone calls weekly (ever since I got this phone number over 2 years ago) and I have blocked over 100 phone numbers, but they are actually from India so they are not “real” phone numbers and being on the “do not call list” doesn’t mean anything. Due to all the pent up stress, my anger reached record levels and I “blew up” at the guy “If you call me ever again, you will regret it.” I need a lesson in how to execute anger, because that threat was so pathetic the guy called me back asking if I was sure I didn’t want to buy medication. (I’m laughing so hard right now as I write that, because I just realized this and I don’t think he even realized how ironic it is that he’s suggesting I might need happy pills).

Two minuets later I got a text from “Plecenta Power” offering to deliver my placenta capsules to me at the Ronald McDonald House. Yes, I did the hippie thing and had my placenta to made into capsules, because that’s supposed to help balance all the raging hormones after childbirth. I didn’t do that with Monkey, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try it, and based on the events of the past 2 hours, clearly I need my happy pills. I burst into tears of joy over her lovely offer to bring them to me right now.

I made myself some scrambled eggs, while medical supply delivered my breast pump, followed 5 minuets later by Plecenta Power. Please don’t tell all our doctors and nurses that I’m crazy, because they currently think we’re doing a great job.

Becky is wife to Duane, mama to "Monkey-girl" and baby "Lioness" aka "PipSqueek." She is the administrative powerhouse for YWAM Bend and keeps our team grounded and organized. Her hope is to inspire and encourage other mamas in their journey to raise healthy, thriving families.
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  • Roy Libby

    You are such an inspiration. I so enjoy your weitting, May God grant you rest as you navigate through this time of your life. You are so special!
    Love you,

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