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Trump-ing the Calendar System.

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Trump-ing the Calendar System.

Did you hear about the New Calendar System correlating with Trump’s inauguration in January 2017? Ok, it actually has nothing to do with Trump, and it won’t be starting this year either. But someday, when I rule the world, I will be implementing a new calendar system. It will be so neat and organized and make our lives so much better!

Let me explain the problem with the current calendar system. There are a lot of confused people in this world. It could be because of pregnancy or “mommy brain,” or maybe they didn’t properly learn about how the calendar works.

I’ve heard several new moms say, “pregnancy is actually 10 months long,” Wrong. While yes, it does feel very long, 40 weeks does not equal 10 months. That statement would be true, if each month only had exactly 4 weeks (exactly 28 days), but with our current calendar system, each month has 30-31 days, which is slightly less than 4 and 1/2 weeks. So 40 weeks equals about 9 months. But if you want to believe pregnancy is 10 months long, my new calendar system will make your dreams come true! On the bright side, shorter months will fly by faster!

I have met several confused parents, who count their new baby’s age in weeks, and then try to turn those weeks into months using an inaccurate mathematical equation. They think if their baby was born on Saturday, he will turn 1 month old on the Saturday (4 weeks later), and 2 months old on the Saturday (8 weeks later). According to this math, at 48 weeks old, the child will be 12 months old. But since there’s actually 52 weeks in a year, it’ll be an entire month before the child turns 1 year old. Fortunately, people who use this incorrect counting system tend to get confused and loose count long before their child’s first birthday.

Apparently they don’t seem to teach this in school anymore, but keeping track of your age in months works like this: If you’re born June 5th, you turn 1 month old on July 5th, and 2 months old on August 5th, this way you turn 12 months old the same day you turn 1 year old. Makes perfect sense to me, because I was homeschooled.

So let’s talk about my new calendar system, because it will solve a lot of problems for the previously mentioned confused individuals.

February is the perfect month. It has 28 days, which equals exactly 4 weeks. What if every month were like February? In my new calendar system, each month will have 28 days, or exactly 4 weeks. This will solve a lot of problems and eliminate massive amounts of confusion.

If January 1st is a Sunday, February 1st is also a Sunday. No more asking, is “December 1st a Saturday or Sunday?” because you will know the answer, without even flipping to that month on your calendar!

If all 12 months had only 28 days (exactly 4 weeks), we would have enough extra days to create a 13th month. That’s right, we are adding an extra month to our year! We shall call the new month Trumptover.

Since there are 365 days in a year, the new month of Trumptover will have a total of 29 days. This will shift the calendar 1 day each year. If my birthday was on Monday last year, it’ll be on a Tuesday this year. Unless it’s leap year, because then the 13th month gets 30 days! Why does Trumptover get more days than the other months? Because Trump wins.

Adding a 13 month at the end of the year, means extra time between Christmas and New Years. All the accountants rejoice! Now they don’t have to clean up the end of the year financials over their Christmas break. I bet the accountants reading this cannot wait for me to change the world!

Also, instead of getting 2 weeks of winter break from school, everyone will get 1 week at Christmas and 1 week a New Years, just like we get 1 week of Spring Break, along with other random long weekends. It also means you don’t even have to think about finals until after Christmas! All the teachers rejoice! Now they don’t have to spend their Christmas holiday grading tests. I bet the teachers reading this cannot wait for this new calendar system to go into effect.

Since the school year continues through the 13th month of the year, this would fix the disproportionate lengths of semesters. Currently the Fall semester is September through mid-December (15 weeks), then 2 weeks off for Christmas. The Spring semester runs January through mid-June (24 weeks). Summer break is usually Mid-June through the end of August (11 weeks).

With my new calendar, the fall semester will be September – Trumptover, (20 weeks) and the Spring semester will be January-May (20 weeks), that’s not factoring all the school breaks for holidays. All of June-August (3 months or 12 weeks) would be summer break! Or we could have all 4 weeks of Trumptover off school (since it’s probably full of snow-days anyway) but then only 8 weeks of summer break.

Logistically, when does Trumptover fit in? Obviously, Christmas needs to happen in the winter, so I would set my new calendar in alignment with shortest day of the year which is currently Dec 21st, which would stay on that date. That means New Year’s day would happen around what is currently January 25th.

I considered drawing out the new 13 month calendar to lay over the current calendar, in order to visually show these changes. But after much discussion with my husband, he finally said, “wait, why are we overanalyzing this imaginary new calendar, which is never actually going to happen?”

Well, someday, if I ever get to rule the world, consider yourself warned. Or if you really like my plan for a 13 month calendar system, vote Becky for Queen of the Universe next time there is a world-wide election.

Becky
Becky
Becky is wife to Duane, mama to "Monkey-girl" and baby "Lioness" aka "PipSqueek." She is the administrative powerhouse for YWAM Bend and keeps our team grounded and organized. Her hope is to inspire and encourage other mamas in their journey to raise healthy, thriving families.
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